America the Uptight

We are wound SO DAMN tight in this country where sex is concerned.

Don't believe me?

Here you go:

MONROE, N.Y. Sep 18, 2006 (AP)— School officials apologized after an X-rated font was used on a third-grade spelling packet handed out to parents. The font showed male and female stick figures in provocative poses to form the letters of the alphabet.

Some idiot at a school in New York pulls an alphabet off the InterNetTubething for his/her/its third-grade students, and WHOA NELLY it was discovered that the letters were actually stick figures doin' things you can get arrested for here in the South even in these modern times. (And notice it was handed out to PARENTS - not kids!)

In the broadcasting of the story, of course, the local New York ABC affiliate fuzzed out the letters.

Let me emphasize this. They fuzzed out, not live high-detail pictures of real humans bumping uglies, but STICK FIGURES.

STICK. FIGURES.

'Cause, it was, you know, stick figures. Having sex. With all that that implies.

Next in America: Banning those damn sexually explicit orchids! You know, those flowers are really sex organs, and you know, kids MIGHT GET IDEAS...