That lil' scamp

Dick Cheney emerges from his underground coffin bunker and pretends he has a sense of humor:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Adhering to a tradition now entering its 60th year, President Bush on Tuesday delivered a full presidential pardon to the national Thanksgiving turkey in the Rose Garden at the White House.

He also announced the names of the bird and its alternate, which were chosen by people who voted online. They will officially be called May and Flower, the president said.

"That's certainly better than the names the vice president suggested: Lunch and Dinner," Bush joked.

And everyone laughed nervously as they prayed silent thanks that they had never taken Cheney up on those offers of hunting trips...

(Yes, "vice president" is uncapitalized in the CNN story. Either they're doing their typical wonderful job of checking pitifully basic English usage, or Commander Codpiece actually somehow said it in lower case. Which I wouldn't put past him.)

Travel column with a side order of agenda

You know, being on the pshitt end of the economic scale most of my life, I don't pay a whole lot of attention to travel-oriented journalism, but is this sort of thing common?

(Tribune Media Services) -- I remember a bleak time in Poland when the economy was so maddeningly out of touch with the needs of its people that anyone lucky enough to own a car would remove their windshield wipers at night and take them inside. In their command economy -- oblivious to the laws of supply and demand -- some official forgot to order wipers and consequently, they weren't for sale anywhere. Inspired by a hungry black market, thieves would work late into the night snapping them up.

Oh, thank you! Nothing's as bad as an economy out of touch with its own people, mind you.

Of course, the American economy isn't like that, nossir. That is, beyond the housing crisis, the wave of foreclosures, the skyrocketing costs of fuel and health care, and the insistence of companies to outsource every possible job that can be done on the other side of the world. Minus all that.

And that's not even mentioning the abysmal American "business" news where gleeful reports of corporate profits are featured, with the side note that another 30,000 jobs have been eliminated.

But back to Poland.

For me, eating at a "bar mleczny" -- or "milk bar" -- is an essential Polish sightseeing experience. These super-cheap cafeterias, which you'll see all over the country, are a dirt-cheap way to get a meal, and, with the right attitude, a fun cultural adventure.

In the communist era, the government subsidized the food at milk bars. The idea: to allow lowly workers to afford a meal out. The tradition continues, and today Poland still foots the bill for most of your milk-bar meal. Prices remain astoundingly low -- my bill usually comes to about $3 -- and, while communist-era fare was less than lively, today's milk-bar cuisine is tastier.

Ah. So, "government-subsidized" means crappy food, except for these days, when it's still - um - government subsidized, except the food is better. Q.E.D., or something.

At milk bars, the service is aimed at locals. You're unlikely to find an English menu.

Well! Those bastards, not speaking English!

Of course, you could always learn a few words of Polish, but why bother? It's the duty of the rest of the world to speak intelligibly, after all!

Chowing down with the locals you'll marvel at how you can still eat lunch for $3 while experiencing a little bit of nostalgia from Poland's communist days.

Whee! All the fun of the Evil Empire without the threat of nuclear conflict, or even the existential threat of an alternative economy! Those cute cuddly Communists! Just waiting for all those decades to cater to the whims of spoiled American tourists. How nice!

I repeat - is this kind of Yakov Smirnof crap typical for travel columns? "In Poland, pierogies EAT YOU! *guffaw*"

THIS is good...

Faux News (Deh Stoopid, boss! Deh stoopid!) publishes misleading headline:

Senate Panel Finds Medicaid Recipients Living in Lap of Luxury

...but when you get to the actual story it's about Medicaid providers:

WASHINGTON — A Senate panel is asking why more than 30,000 Medicaid providers — doctors and others in the health care field — owe at least $1 billion in back taxes and still receive federal payments for their services.

Some of those identified in a government report even live in luxury, residing in million-dollar homes, driving high-dollar vehicles and withdrawing tens of thousands of dollars from casinos.

The Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations planned to explore ways the government can collect the unpaid taxes when it takes up a report Wednesday by the Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress.

Nice job, guys.

Controlled environments

Stupid conservative talk radio host (yes, I know, that's a redundancy) says stupid things:

Conservative radio talk-show host Tammy Bruce, speaking with FOX News, said the incidents show Clinton is uncomfortable with dynamic situations.

Events featuring voter questions are "meant for one reason and one reason only: to show us in a campaign how they are going to deal with unpredictable, dynamic situations that they can't control. And what Hillary Clinton has shown us is that even in a friendly audience, she's too afraid to hear unprepared questions," Bruce said.

Break out that sal volatile again! A grand total of TWO incidents and suddenly Sen. Clinton is a power-mad control freak who can't bear to be asked questions out of her lil' safe bubble.

Well. OBVIOUSLY unfit for office, in Ms. Bruce's opinion.

Meanwhile... has Preznit Bush given a speech in the last few years outside of a military audience or a conservative foundation? And as others have pointed out, remember this guy? Let's not forget the RNC-endorsed loyalty oaths from the 2004 race, or Bush's little friend during the 2004 debates... or, even, his father's scripted responses to public questions.

But Clinton? SHE WAS ASKED A STAGED QUESTION OMFG!!!11 UNFIT! UNFIT!

Thanks a lot, guys

Well, they went and did it:

WASHINGTON — The Senate confirmed retired judge Michael Mukasey as attorney general to replace Alberto Gonzales, who was forced from office in a scandal over his handling of the Justice Department.

Mukasey was confirmed late Thursday as the United States' 81st attorney general after a sharp debate over his refusal to say whether the waterboarding interrogation technique, which simulates drowning, is torture.

President Bush thanked the Senate, even though the margin had been whittled down from nearly unanimous by a sharp debate over Mukasey's refusal to say whether the waterboarding interrogation technique is torture.

"He will be an outstanding attorney general," Bush said in a statement from his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

"Good doggies... goooood doggies. Here, have a bone."

The choice, according to one of those Democrats, was essentially between "whether to confirm Michael Mukasey as the next attorney general or whether to leave the Department of Justice without a real leader for the next 14 months," said one Democratic supporter, Sen. Dianne Feinstein.

Think of all the terrorism cases that would have gone unprosecuted! Well, other than pretty much all of them.

Mukasey has called waterboarding personally "repugnant," and in a letter to senators said he did not know enough about how it has been used to define it as torture. He also said he thought it would be irresponsible to discuss it since doing so could make interrogators and other government officials vulnerable to lawsuits.

Well, gosh! Since we don't do it, according to what Bush tells us, that shouldn't have been an issue since those lawsuits would have been dismissed outright for lack of evidence.

Right?

In an opinion article in The Wall Street Journal, Mukasey criticized U.S. national security law as too weak in some areas by noting that prosecutors are sometimes forced to reveal details of cases at the risk of tipping off terrorists. He is also a supporter of the government's anti-terror USA Patriot Act, wryly writing in 2004 that the "awkward name may very well be the worst thing about the statute."

Ah, yes, contempt for the Bill of Rights is "wry". Heh! A regular Oscar Wilde, there.

This is rich

Bush to Musharraf: Take Off the Army Uniform

WASHINGTON — President Bush personally told Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf Wednesday that he must hold parliamentary elections and relinquish his post as head of his country's army.

"You can't be the president and the head of the military at the same time," Bush said, describing a telephone call with Musharraf. "I had a very frank discussion with him."




No, but it's evidently perfectly okay to dress up like the warrior you never were and parade your chickenhawk ass around military bases using the people who you're putting in harm's way for no good reason as photo-op backgrounds.

And why should Musharraf listen to Mister 11 percent approval rating (thank you, Rachel Maddow) anyway? It's not like any of us here in his own country take him seriously; why should someone on the other side of the planet? What's Bush going to do, have Condi scowl at him?

Oh, this is a stunning development

Wingnuts of a feather wingnut together:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — CNN has learned that Pat Robertson today will endorse Rudy Giuliani for President.

Republican and Giuliani campaign sources tell CNN Chief National Correspondent John King that Robertson, the television evangelist and Christian Coalition leader, will endorse the former New York City Mayor when the two men appear together at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C.

Well, isn't that lovely. I guess St. Rudy figures this will be his "in" with the religious reich; endorsement by one of their own.

It was Robertson’s 1988 presidential campaign that, while unsuccessful, cemented evangelical voters as a dominant force within the Republican Party.

Gosh, thanks ever so much, Pat! I can't TELL you how much I appreciate the de facto requirement now that every Presidential candidate bend over backwards accommodating your Taliban-esuqe peers, while the people who paid a little more attention to what the Bible actually says, instead of your peculiarly bigoted version, get ignored. I can't express my admiration of your masterful way of taking a big stinky dump all over the democratic process, hiding your religious affiliations while you ran for office, pretending you weren't actually an Evangelical 'cause it might not be good press. (I believe that falls under "bearing false witness", but maybe that's just me.)

Oh, and your dumbass attempt during that campaign to invoke another Cuban Missile Crisis. Smooth move, Sherlock.

And I really want to thank you, Pat, for enabling others as willfully ignorant and hateful as you are to ooze into the political environment in a like manner.

Maybe Rudy'll make you his Ambassador to Israel. Or maybe Zaire or Liberia. Wouldn't that be special.

Beg pardon?

Amazing what conservatives choose to apply their "American pride" to:

In a November 5 National Review Online column -- "Waterboarding Has Its Benefits" -- contributing editor Deroy Murdock wrote that "[w]aterboarding is something of which every American should be proud," adding that "[t]hough clearly uncomfortable, waterboarding loosens lips without causing permanent physical injuries (and unlikely even temporary ones)."

Well, that's lovely! Who cares whether it's really torture or not - it doesn't cause any permanent injuries (in Mr. Murdock's fevered brain, anyway, regardless of the reality), so it's perfectly fine.

You get the impression that if they could get their sadistic little paws on, say, the pain box from Dune they'd be more than happy to use it. "So it causes unbelievable pain. So what? It doesn't harm the person at all, not physically! That's something to be proud of!"

"There're those who'd give a pretty for the secret of this box, though."

Yeah, Reverend Mother, and they have the ears of those running this country, god help us.

"C'mon, guys! Stop messin' around!"

Is it me, or is the petulant Condi Rice sounding whinier and whinier as this Pakistan thing continues to get worse?

Secretary of State Rice Urges Pakistan's Musharraf to Cut Army Affiliation, Restore Democracy

At a news conference, Rice urged Musharraf to follow through on past promises to "take off his uniform."

"I want to be very clear. We believe that the best path for Pakistan is to quickly return to a constitutional path and then to hold elections," she said.

"The more quickly and the more urgently that the Pakistani leadership and President Musharraf act on their stated desire to get back to a constitutional path, it will be for the better of everyone," she said.

I mean, here's a nuclear state in turmoil, and she's sounding like a kid whose friends are trashing the kitchen. "C'mon, guys, cut it out already! Jeez! My folks are gonna be home any minute! C'mon!"

Not that this whole thing is going to get in the way of our "friendship", though:

Yet it remained doubtful that the U.S. and other Western nations — which last week urged Musharraf to avoid authoritarian measures — would abandon the urbane general who made Pakistan a valued ally in the fight against al-Qaida and Taliban after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

The Bush administration said it was deeply disturbed by the emergency and urged a swift return to democracy. But the Pentagon said Musharraf's declaration does not affect U.S. military support of Pakistan, suggesting to many here it will be business as usual.

Ah, yes, "return to democracy". That's been the catch-phrase all weekend from the Bush regime. Either they seriously don't know how Gen. Musharraf came to power in a military coup (unlikely), or they just don't give a rat's ass - which should make anyone who's paying attention just a little nervous for their dedication to democracy elsewhere, especially here in the U.S.

Speaking of dictatorships

Ain't nothing like seeing potential masssive political unrest in a country with nuclear weapons:

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — Gen. Pervez Musharraf declared a state of emergency on Saturday, ahead of a crucial Supreme Court ruling on his future as president, thrusting the country deeper into political turmoil as it struggles with spreading Islamic militancy.

Seven Supreme Court judges immediately rejected the emergency, which suspended the current constitution. The government blocked transmissions of private news channels in several cities and telephone services in the capital, Islamabad, were cut.

As Atrios says, who could have forseen something like this from a man who seized power in a military coup?

And so much for Musharraf's promise to give up military power if re-elected, I guess.

Um, whee?

There's a reason he made that "dictatorship" comment

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." -- G.W. Bush, December 18, 2000

Well, Bush is getting tired of that damn opposition party being, well, so OPPOSING, so he's decided to take a end-run around democracy:

The White House plans to try implementing as much new policy as it can by administrative order while stepping up its confrontational rhetoric with Congress after concluding that President Bush cannot do much business with the Democratic leadership, administration officials said.

According to those officials, Bush and his advisers blame Democrats for the holdup of Judge Michael B. Mukasey's nomination to be attorney general, the failure to pass any of the 12 annual spending bills, and what they see as their refusal to involve the White House in any meaningful negotiations over the stalemated children's health-care legislation.

White House aides say the only way Bush seems to be able to influence the process is by vetoing legislation or by issuing administrative orders, as he has in recent weeks on veterans' health care, air-traffic congestion, protecting endangered fish and immigration. They say they expect Bush to issue more of such orders in the next several months, even as he speaks out on the need to limit spending and resist any tax increases.

Yeah, if you can't get your policies through a democratic process 'cause the other side insists (even just for rhetorical sake) on silly things like transparency and accountability, why not just issue a pronunciamento from Dear Leader's desk to implement them? What could be the harm in that, after all, as long as you say your intentions are good?

"Emergency decrees", anyone?

Bush himself has been complaining more and more bitterly about congressional Democrats in recent weeks. In a private meeting yesterday with House Republicans in the East Room of the White House, Bush recalled how he had been able to work with Democrats when he was Texas governor and said he had hoped to find the same relationships in Washington.

"He sort of longs for those days, when both sides were genuinely interested in getting along and getting a deal," said Rep. Adam H. Putnam (R-Fla.), the chairman of the House Republican Conference, who helped organize yesterday's White House meeting, attended by about 150 Republicans.

Well, the late Molly Ivins could remind us just how hard Bush worked then:

I have tried repeatedly to explain to non-Texans just how weak an office the governorship of Texas is, but even if Bush suffers from the illusion that he has a powerful job, he must know he doesn't work at it by anyone's measure. The New York Times has just discovered, with an air of great wonder, that Bush doesn't even work 9 to 5 and that he knocks off work every day for a couple of hours to jog and play video games.

And how dedicated Bush was to working with Texas Dems for the public interest:

A little bill said the state of Texas should not execute people who are seriously retarded. We have polls on this; the great majority of Texans -- as great a majority, as it happens, as those who favor the death penalty in most circumstances -- are against offing people who aren't sure what their name, much less their crime, might be. Bush opposed it, it died, and don't you ever try to tell me that compassionate conservatism means anything. It wouldn't even have cost money.

And, indeed, how willing he was even then to "work with Democrats" to "get a deal":

Excuse me, but if anyone is interested in the truth, George Dubya vetoed the patients' bill of rights in Texas when it was first passed by the legislators in 1995; and when they passed it again, over his opposition, by a veto-proof majority in 1997, he threatened to veto it again and then let it become law without his signature because a veto wouldn't hold.

He's got a long history of stamping his feet and bypassing democracy when it suits him. Problem is, the governorship of Texas isn't the same as President of the United States (or "Preznit" in Bush's case), and, even after almost seven years, this idjit still hasn't picked up on that fact.

OH LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY, again

FAUX News.com ("Would you like to super-size that stupid for only a dollar more?") has had, as their lead headline story since yesterday afternoon, this:

Fired University of Colorado Professor Ward Churchill Keeps Teaching on Campus

Former University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill no longer is a member of the faculty but he is holding classes on campus after his dismissal following a controversial Sept. 11 essay comparing victims to a Nazi leader.

The classes, covering topics including colonialism, genocide and racism, are organized by the students who then invite Churchill to speak.

"We feel Ward has a right to say what he wants to say," Aaron Smith, a political science and ethnic studies senior, told FOXNews.com.

ZOMG!!11 Teh EVIL WARD CHURCHILL continues to corrupt minds on campus! And with the consent of poor brainwashed students!

"He pushes us to think critically about issues that are left outside of the main chronicles of history," Smith said. "He tries to have us not only look from the perspective of the dominant, but from the perspective of the oppressed."

Thinking critically? Looking at the perspective of the oppressed? Goddamnit, don't these young minds full of mush realize that the only purpose of ANY education, even college, is preparation for the disciplined and conservative world of business? Universities are there to PRESERVE privilege, not challenge it!

*snif* Hopefully that servant of tolerance and free speech David "Islamofasicsm Week" Horowitz will arrive soon to save these kids from the horrible fate that awaits them at the hands of this monster!

And thank god FAUX is staying on top of this IMPORTANT story and ignoring the irrelevant trivia, like, oh, say, the fact that the White House is press-ganging diplomats to "serve" in Iraq that could distract them from this virtuous crusade.