The Sophisticates

ABOVE: Separated at birth?

Evidently Mr. Sardonicus Cunningham felt more at ease on the Hannity & Colmes show, and put further lie to the idea that the McCain campaign had no idea just who they were putting out as a opening act for their candidate:

CUNNINGHAM: Your co-host, Alan Colmes, wants to have, like, a force field around Barack Hussein Obama, and if you touch it, you get electrocuted. What happened to me today is what's going to happen to conservatives for the next eight months if they bring up Barack Hussein Obama's name. Just say his name. All of a sudden, you're going to be electrocuted.

Well, yeah, if you do it as an attempt to tie into the "Obama = Muslim = terrorist" idea. After all, this is the same "news" network whose owner a year ago made a (not so) funny "confusing" Obama with Osama.

But Sen. Obama's real honorable middle name was just not enough for the perky lil' Mr. Cunningham:

COLMES: Let me point out that on your radio — what you're ignoring, Bill, is on your radio show didn't you call him Barack Hussein Mohammed Obama?

CUNNINGHAM: Well, I did call him that once, because Mohammed is the greatest prophet of God according to...

COLMES: I see. So why did you add a name that wasn't his name? Now you're acting like, "I just said his name." You didn't do that. You actually inserted the name "Mohammed" to his name. Why did you do that?

CUNNINGHAM: I believed at the time that his confirmation and one of his names was Mohammed, and I rescinded the statement. I said Barack Hussein Obama.

Oh, yeah, that's a mistake anyone would make. Of course, Billy can't get it straight whether it was, indeed, an honest mistake or more "respect", but hey, nobody would do something like that just to link Barack Obama to Muslim terrorism!

Of course not.

Particularly not a supporter of John McCain.

I mean, would Mr. Cunningham really assert that Barack Obama is some kind of Muslim terrorist Manchurian Candidate?

Maybe:

CUNNINGHAM: And the daily[sic] — the daily political machine gave us this — this stealth candidate, this Manchurian candidate. We don't know who in the heck he is. I'd like to know more about Obama.

Then again maybe not:

COLMES: You also had a caller to your radio show refer to him as a terrorist cell. Do you concur with that caller?

CUNNINGHAM: No, I did not concur with any caller. I do not believe Barack Hussein Obama is a terrorist or a Manchurian candidate. I do believe we know nothing about this guy from the daily political machine.

I just really have the utmost respect for someone who sticks by what they assert about someone, someone who doesn't bob and weave and dodge questions.

What Big Bill does know, though, is President Obama would be just terrible, terrible for the Great Holy Crusade Against The Bad Terrorist People:

CUNNINGHAM: Very easily. This is the candidate who wants to close down Gitmo, who wants to reinstate habeas corpus, who wants to criminalize — terrorist activities, and he wants to eliminate key elements in the Patriot Act. I'm referring to that, Alan Colmes, and not his name.

"wants to reinstate habeas corpus". *shudder* Why, what kind of sick bastard could want THAT!? Oh, and "wants to criminalize terrorist activities". Um, yeah.

After all, what we really need in these dangerous times is four more years of Bush:

CUNNINGHAM: And I want you to say that "George Bush has kept me safe for the last seven years." Say it, Alan. Say it.

For a limited set of "me", not including the people of New Orleans or American soldiers. Ignoring, also, the anthrax attacks, the monthly Orange Alerts just before the 2004 election, the constant warnings of terrorists lurking, and the trotting out of the latest B.S. "foiled plot" every time the Repugs need a boost in the polls. As well as the incapability of the federal government to protect us from gun violence, diseased meat, crumbling bridges, contaminated toys and a worsening economy.

And let's not forget the ever-popular "give me everything I want right now or we're all dead" propaganda from the White House.

But, after all, to Billy-Boy's tiny mind Alan "Hannity's Punching Bag" Colmes is the re-incarnation of Stalin:

HANNITY: What do you call Alan Colmes?

CUNNINGHAM: I call Alan Colmes a well-intended liberal who's a left-wing radical extremist to the left of a Bolshevik.

Um. Yeah.