Oh, lordy. Even I, in my depths of cynicism, couldn't have imagined what came out of the Iraq testimony before Congress today.
It wasn't at all surprising that Iran (who helped negotiate the cease-fire in Basra a couple weeks back, but nemmind THAT) was made out to be the great threat to our fragile lil' Petri Dish O'Freedom:
Throughout their testimony, Petraeus and Crocker have been unequivocal in their belief that Iran has been fueling fighting, supplying mortars that rain down on the international Green Zone in Baghdad as well as arming so-called "special groups" that were behind recent fighting in Basra.
Well, cripes, of course! Have you ever heard of the citizens of a country resisting an occupation, after all?
Of course, those citizens never had to live under an American occupation, in which, even if political power comes from the barrels of guns, those guns fire cotton candy and ice cream! And everyone gets a pony! Whee!
Anyway, getting back to the dog-and-Petraeus show, Ambassador Ryan Crocker pegged my outrage meter with the following emerging from his ignint cakehole:
"Iran has stated (publicly) that its policy is to support the Iraqi government. And in my view, if you take sort of an objective analysis of the Iran-Iraq relationship, that is what Iran should be doing, supporting the central government, because the truth is no people suffered more from Saddam Hussein's regime in Baghdad than the Iranian people, with the sole exception of the Iraqis themselves," Crocker said.
Grok it, folks* - the frickin' Ambassador to Iraq actually implied, gawdhelpus, that Iran should be THANKFUL we invaded. 'Cause we overthrew their archenemy Saddam, y'see! They should love us!
Sure, we invaded their neighboring country, destabilized the government, caused millions of citizens to become refugees, arrested their diplomats in Iraq, accused 'em of being Nazis, appropriated money to overthrow their government as well, and rattled, rattled, rattled the sabers at them.
But we got Saddam! So they're safer than ever now, and they should be grateful to us.
If "a boy, having just been convicted of murdering his parents, begging the judge for leniency because he is an orphan" is a definition of chutzpah, what the hell is this? Doubleplus chutzpah, maybe?
*I would have said "Comprende", but I was afraid of getting boycotted by the Malkin.