Oh. Ahem.

You want to know why I don't post? You want to know why I don't freaking POST?!

CNN.com featured video:

Rat rides on a cat riding on a dog

FAUX news.com:

Petraeus Calls Syria's Nuke Program 'Troubling'

and in real news? The WaPo gives colum space to someone who rants about not only how very, very gay Edwards and Obama look but about Obama's lack of respect for Volk und Blut.

So, yeah, thank you America, I'll be hiding over here reading comics for the next few months. 'Cause at least they frickin' MAKE SENSE, even when they don't.

Ptui.

The Eternal Sunshine of The Sociopathic Mind

Lord, imagine this - FAUX trumpets new "research" asserting conservatives are happier than liberals, 'cause they don't give a damn:

Regardless of marital status, income or church attendance, right-wing individuals reported greater life satisfaction and well-being than left-wingers, the new study found.

Conservatives also scored highest on measures of rationalization, which gauge a person's tendency to justify, or explain away, inequalities.

The rationalization measure included statements such as: "It is not really that big a problem if some people have more of a chance in life than others," and "This country would be better off if we worried less about how equal people are."

Whee! Inequality troubling you? Just ignore it! At least when the revolution comes, you'll have all those memories of happiness to flash back on when you're up against the wall.

Women, too, could evidently benefit from the "close your eyes" philosophy, according to the study:

The same rationalizing phenomena could apply to personal situations as well.

"There is no reason to think that the effects we have identified here are unique to economic forms of inequality," the researchers write. "Research suggests that highly egalitarian women are less happy in their marriages compared with their more traditional counterparts, apparently because they are more troubled by disparities in domestic labor."

In other words, get back in that kitchen and fix me a sandwich, woman, and you'll be happier for it!

But why not expand this concept to racial matters as well? I mean, I'm sure THOSE PEOPLE would be so much happier back on the plantation where they could pick cotton and dance with natural rhythm after work. After all, how is what this "study" is suggesting any different that that hoary racist trope?

By the way - I notice that the "study" evidently avoided questions about immigration or terrorism. How might that have affected their assertions of greater cheerfulness among conservatives? I think we can have some idea.

Sigh.

Oh lord god jumping Jesus on a fricking trampoline with a side order of chicken satay and a cucumber salad garnish, they're still at it:

Opponents of the proposed United Airlines Flight 93 memorial say they're outraged by a proposed design they say looks like Islamic symbols to commemorate victims in Shanksville, Pa. on September 11th.

They believe the design — a broken circle lined with trees outlining the crash — looks likes an Islamic crescent that points toward Mecca, the Muslim holy city.

Well, mind you, the FAUX headline doesn't suggest such subjectivity - "Opponents Criticize Flight 93 Memorial for Using Islamic Symbols", it says, which leads you into the story pretty much asserting that the design does indeed incorporate "Islamic symbols". Which it doesn't.

Fair and balanced? Not so much, as usual.

Cripes, we went over this two freakin' years ago, with the crescent and the "mihrab" and the blocks for the hijackers and the supposed orientation to Mecca and all that. Back then it was supposedly some sort of Muslim shrine which would seize territory from the infidels or some garbage like that; now, according to the photos accompanying the FAUX story, it's supposed to vaguely resemble the Islamic Star-and-Crescent symbol. Minus the Star,mind you - but it's red and crescent-like, so Q.E. frickin' D.!

It's crap - pure and simple crap from the whiny-ass Muslophobes who I'm surprised don't campaign against croissants ('cause, y'see, they're crescent shaped AND treasonous-French!). They're the wingnut equivalent of the 9/11 Truth movement - straining against logic and common sense to slap ever more epicycles on their conspiracy theory, which of course everyone but they are too blind to see!

Why FAUX thought to bring it up now, who the hell knows? I guess there weren't enough stories about masturbation and petty crime to fill the headlines, so they had to go digging for this non-scandal.

Told you so

On the 5th anniversary of the "Mission Accomplished" moment, we find that Bush, as usual, has gotten tired of the war he started so it's time for a new one:

MANHATTAN, Kan. — CIA Director Michael Hayden said Wednesday that Iranian policy, at the highest government level, is to help kill Americans in Iraq, the boldest pronouncement of Iranian involvement by a U.S. official to date.

Hayden made the statement in response to a student question while delivering the Landon Lecture at Kansas State University.

"It is my opinion, it is the policy of the Iranian government, approved to highest level of that government, to facilitate the killing of Americans in Iraq," Hayden said. "Just make sure there's clarity on that."

I don't see how it's possible for a director of national intelligence to say such a thing unless it's coming from the White House - ergo, the policy of the highest level of OUR government is to kill Iranians in Iran. I mean, how is that comment not essentially a declaration of war against Iran, if they are indeed devoted to attacking American troops?

And evidently we can't be expecting any help from Europe this time around, because apparently all of Europe now is "Old Europe" with a shameful devotion to silliness like legality and police work:

The United States considers itself a nation at war, in pursuit of terrorists wherever they are, he said.

"In much of Europe, terrorism is seen differently: primarily as an internal, law enforcement problem, and solutions are focused more narrowly on securing the homeland," Hayden said.

Shorter Hayden: "To crush zeh TERRORISTS... to drive dem before you... and hear deh LAMENTATION of zeh WOMEN!"

"Large parts of the world — including those that will hold more sway in the future — do not share all of our ideas," Hayden said. "While we cherish and live our own values, we must know and appreciate those of others."

...before we invade their countries, overthrow their leaders and leave the place a hellish anarchic mess. Or just fly over occasionally and drop bombs on whoever looks like a troublemaker. So much more effective, after all, than law enforcement.