Once again - Wuh-bluh-hamminah?

Oh, this is truly special.

President Ahmadinejad opens his yap, says something demeaning about TEH CIVILIZED WORLD, and, sure as purge follows binge the Usual Suspects are all over it with their brave "Yeah? W-wh-wh-well, SEZ YOU!" responses. Then it's Miller Time.

Anyway, the "Blogs Linking To This Topic" field on CNN.com leads this time to one "Lukie's Ludicrous Lore", and sure enough, the blog title is indeed a warning, as it gets ludicrous right away:

I think the President of Iran might be anticipating an Obama victory. He has recently been quoted as saying "The big powers are going down". He would certainly need some inside help with that task. If Obama secures the bid for President he just might have the help he needs.

Ah, yes, it's another repeat of the ever-popular "Obama As Manchurian Candidate" trope. But wait! It gets better!

Lukie re-posts a list of - I guess you'd call them "signs of an impending authoritarian leader", as he and his commenters make noises about Hitler and Castro. We've got stuff like "Speeches in stadiums filled with mesmerized, adoring audiences", "An uninspiring background before meteoric rise", "Somebody powerful people think they can control", and, of course, "Acts as if in power before he is", but the best dire indicator of dictatorship?

"Never plans on giving up power - Check (Obama to be president for the next “eight to 10 years”)"

Um, yeah. "Never" evidently meaning two Presidential terms, in which case most Presidents of the last few decades have been guilty of "never giving up power". Yeah, that's a red flag right there. "I not only want to be elected - I want to be re-elected!" "Waaaaah! Hitler! Hitler!"

(Of course, let's totally ignore how much of that list applies to Bush, shall we? 'Cause that'd spoil the whole effect, talking about his uninspiring background before a meteoric rise, speeches before adoring crowds, a propaganda machine willing to show him in the best light, a secret police force, narcissistic megalomaniac tendencies - not to mention his eight years in power! Q.E.D.)

A small prediction

Along about the middle of August, the "common knowledge" will be that, not only did Obama make time for the gym and not wounded soldiers, but that he spit on the soldiers in Iraq and called them baby-killers.

Corollary to above: If the above is indeed the case, there will be a oleaginous e-mail circulating to the effect that one of the soldiers insulted by Obama left to go on patrol just after, and was killed by a terrorist. And therefore it's Obama's fault he died, or some such.

They'll do it every time

Self, I said the other day, upon viewing this story about the executions in Iran - Self, I said, you know damn well that there are conservatives out there who're proper Law'n'Order types, the sort who wet themselves with excitement on hearing of the latest capital punishment case in the United States, 'cause some foul criminal will MEET JUSTICE yeee-hah, however will denounce these executions as further proof of the hatefulness of the Iranian government and evil of the Iranian society, 'cause they have to be faithful to the Party.

Well, I go looking for evidence to confirm my suspicions, and mirable ditcu it's not hard to find:

Commenter at Lucianne.com:

Reply 13 - Posted by: Gallo3, 7/27/2008 11:51:06 AM

Animals, despicable savages, not human beings. Talking about the farging mullahs and their little bunch of roving punishment detachments. Wipe 'em out, now. Niceties be damned.

"DaveH" at Synthstuff merely has problems with the details:

I'm all for the death penalty where murder is involved and an airtight conviction for serious drug dealing wouldn't raise my hackles either but killing someone for being a public nuisance?

Freepers on a similar set of public executions last year:

Well...it seems this type of public horrendous execution is to strike fear into the population and keep them subserviant.

Recall, the Romans fed Christians and prisoners of war to the Lions in the Colliseum.

I believe these types of crazy inhuman laws are what kept Saddam in place and the Iranian people docile.

[snip]

Barbarians all, i say stone the whole freakin country from 20,000 feet from a Staelth bomber.

[snip]

Another example of love and care brought to you by Islam, the religion of perpetual anger and intolerance.
(and I believe the irony in that comment should be obvious)

From "The Bloodthirsty Liberal":

Ever the optimist, I take away from this grisly story the happy news that Iran can be trusted to keep its word—they said they would execute 30, they hanged 29: close enough for shari’a government work. When they say they have 6,000 centrifuges whirling away in basements and warehouses scattered around the country—and that all are meant for peaceful, civilian atomic power—well, hasn’t Mahmoud Ahmadinejad shown himself to be a man of honor and integrity?

Well, that's a perfectly reasonab- [head shake] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

And finally from "Nikki", who also draws - er - dubious conclusions from the news story:

I am sure they all received fair trials with attorneys provided to them if they could not afford one. Let's hop on a plane and have lunch with the Ahmadinajadofreakazoid, he sounds like a fair-minded individual who will be honest and trustworthy if just wooed ever so slightly by one amazing individual. Terrorists after all are just frustrated individuals according to one particular Senator.

See? She assumes they don't offer public defenders in Iran, so I guess we should here 'cause we're better than they are. Or something. Unless it lets criminals run free, therefore we shouldn't. Or something.

That last one is particularly fun, because she precedes her account of vicious capital punishment in Iran by a post in which - I'm serious - she argues that Bush and Batman are similar in their vigilanteeism in the interest of public safety:

In the movie the people start ragging on Batman as a menace rather than a hero. They complain about how he protects them and even begin to vilify him. The Joker challenges Batman with regards to the "rules" of engagement that he follows vs. how criminals and terrorists have NO rules, therefore they win. The conflict arises on how to restore order to a chaos and crime ridden city.

Slight difference of course in the fact that the Joker and Batman are, you know, fictional characters in a made-up story from a frickin' COMIC BOOK. But hey! Aren't vigilantes JUST SO COOL?

And thus we come full circle.

Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see

[snip]

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
Weve got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
Its time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send em all to their maker and hell settle em down

Wheee!

Lil' green Army props

He can't win for losing.

Obama refuses to patriotically use wounded soldiers evacuated from Bush's Greatest War Ever(tm) as campaign props and, of course, it's viewed as smouldering liberal military-hatred.

Of course, the Pentagon clutches their pearls and denies any knowledge of having forbidden the trip:

Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman told reporters later Friday the Pentagon did not explicitly say Obama should not visit the base, but was concerned with whether his capacity there would be one of a presidential candidate, not a senator.


"We do have certain policy guidelines for political campaigns and elections. And what is appropriate and what is not appropriate in those situations. But the Pentagon certainly did not tell the senator that he could not visit Landstuhl," Whitman said.

"Generally speaking, the military tries very hard not to get involved in political campaigns," he said. "Conducting a campaign speech for example on a military installation is not something that would be appropriate to do."

So, you know, not that they'd approve of such a thing, but no, they didn't tell him he couldn't go. So he didn't go which proves he hates America, soldiers, the flag, Mom, baseball. hot dogs, apple pie, Chevrolet, and lil' warm puppies.

Of course, if he DID go, why, it would just prove what an opportunist he is, using the broken bodies of brave warriors as a stepladder to ultimate power, being the hateful anti-military liberal he is. OF COURSE.

Meanwhile Grumpy McSame denounces the evil Obama to a, guess what, military audience:

DENVER — Republican presidential candidate John McCain, ridiculing Barack Obama for “the audacity of hopelessness” in his policies on Iraq, said Friday that the entire Middle East could have plunged into war had U.S. troops been withdrawn as his rival advocated.

Speaking to an audience of Hispanic military veterans, McCain stepped up his criticism of Obama while the Illinois senator continued his headline-grabbing tour of the Middle East and Europe. The Arizona Republican contended that Obama’s policies — he opposed sending more troops to Iraq in the “surge” that McCain supported — would have led to defeat there and in Afghanistan.

Well! "Veterans", I guess, are perfectly fair game, or some such.

UPDATE: Oh, jesus frickin' christ, already!

Allege-o-rama

Once again FAUX News ("Eat all the stupid you want - we'll make more!") takes time out from crime, sex and celebrities to reveal the TRUTH, the TRUTH I tells ya, about the nefarious Muslim plot to... um... advertise in the NYC subway system:

NEW YORK — A Muslim group, in collaboration with a Brooklyn imam once investigated as a possible co-conspirator in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, paid $48,000 to run Islamic advertisements on the city's subway cars this September.

Of course, as usual, things aren't quite as cut-and-dried as all that, once you get further into the story:

Wahhaj was once listed by prosecutor Andy McCarthy as an unindicted person who may have been an alleged co-conspirator in the deadly 1993 terror bombing of the World Trade Center.

Ah. "may have been". "alleged". Well, that PROVES it. I mean, he's all Muslimy and stuff!

After all, he's a "radical":

"In time, this so-called democracy will crumble, and there will be nothing, and the only thing that will remain will be Islam," Wahhaj was quoted as saying in one of his sermons.

Of course, that isn't really anything dissimilar to what the Christian Right has been aiming for, but go figure. I mean, he's got funny clothes and a funny non-European name. TERRORIST Q.E.D.!