Dear Washington DC

Hey, fuck you very much, too.

I suppose you guys have had a great couple weeks, pretending that GUMMIN SPENDIN'is suddenly some great fucking crisis (as it only seems to be during Democratic presidencies) and that if we owe one dollar, NAY ONE MERE PENNY to anyone we are all DOOMED.

Yes, drag out your idiot analogies with "even the average American households must adhere to a balanced budget every month" (which is less and less the case with the proliferation of private credit). Go ahead, ignore the fact that the government ISN'T a private household and needs to be the spender of last resort in an economic downturn, even if it means running a deficit. There is NO ready parallel between the Federal economy and household economies, any more than there's a direct ready parallel between human brains and IBM-PCs, and you people fucking know it and yet keep repeating this line of bullshit.

This "crisis" was, after all, totally fucking artificial and could have been stopped long before this - that is, if we had a President who was more concerned with the welfare of the people who elected him than this "bipartisan" bullshit. Protip to Obama - they DO NOT WANT to "work with" you. They HATE you. Being nice to the GOP is like ceding bits of Austria to that moustached freako back in 1939 - they always want more.

Oh, and the GOP, makers of this "crisis", which of course isn't Obama's fault so much as attributable to the massive spending deficit created by The War On Whatever The Hell We Want It To Be On and the Bush tax giveaways to the ultra-ultra-wealthy (who are doing just fine, thank you, suckers). Thank god you successfully avoided giving that bad ol' government more money. I mean, beyond blowin' shit up in the Middle East and handing it out to the poor (OBVIOUSLY) what the hell do they need it for?

THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THEY NEED IT FOR, YOU MORONS:

Federal officials are recalling 36 million pounds of ground turkey produced by Cargill Inc. linked to a California death and at least 76 other salmonella illnesses nationwide.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture announced the move late Wednesday. All of the recalled products were reportedly produced at the company's Springdale, Ark., plant.

The recall follows the death of a Sacramento, Calif., resident tied to an outbreak of salmonella food poisoning that has sickened people in 26 states since March. At the family's request, no details about the death have been released.

Oh, I'm sure these companies, absent government regulation and oversight, could just be trusted to police themselves. After all, what's more important to a corporation - safety or profits?

Ha, ha, that's a joke; it's profits, of course. It's certainly a challenge to sell your product when it kills people, but, hey, there's always that lucrative Chinese market available and god knows they have more people than they know what to do with and can certainly spare a few thousand or so in the name of corporate profit.

And plus we get to listen to the GOP whine and snuffle about being called terrorists. AW POOR BABIES. Jeebus, we're supposed to take you people seriously when you called Democrats "traitors" and "communists" for years and years, to the point where you actually goddamn thought seriously about calling them "The Democrat Socialist Party", and now you're all "OH BIDEN CALLED US NAMES *SNIF*"? (Not that many of us take you seriously anymore, to begin with. As I've said, keep acting like a clown and sooner or later people will start laughing at you.) If you don't want to be called "terrorists" and "hostage-takers", stop fucking acting that way.

And speaking of clowns - ! The Teabaggers, squatting in the House of Representatives, dragging their knuckles up and down the aisles and emitting a fetid stream of crap that puts the hog farming industry to shame. It's a wonder the Potomac hasn't had a Pfisteria bloom, really. Oh, the Teabaggers. These lovely examples of retrograde evolution who hated the government so badly they did eveything they could to become a part of it, and then proceeded to ignore everything but trashing every Federal program they could get their stinky mitts on. They even took time out from their fretting over the (entirely bullshit) deficit "crisis" to worry about the (entirely bullshit) incandescent light bulb "ban" because, let's face it, for all the powdered wigs and Founding Father cosplay, that's what the Teabaggers consider freedom - lightbulbs.

That's right up there with advocacy of "freedom" in the "right" to own a Hummer H2, and we see how well THAT's worked out.

So, yay, we can enjoy our incandescent lightbulbs in the comfort of our home, until the nice bank comes and forecloses it out from under us, and once we're out on the street we can expect nothing at all except to be rousted by police, since, after all, the nation can't afford economic security but sure as hell can afford plenty security personnel. And if we're lucky there'll be a spare cardboard box under the overpass for us, 'cause in the most powerful nation on Earth this is The Best That We Can Do.